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Ball Hockey wRAp


Monday, June 24, 2019 - FINALS

RED – 2 vs BLACK - 5
With great expectations for another Spring Finals Classic, the Red Menace, and Hope to Beat You Black, teams geared up for the Spring League Monday championship.

Unfortunately, the Red team was going to have to play with only five players, and without the venerable, ageless Tony ‘Godfather’ Romanelli, who was pulling his own version of Dominik Hasek, “I’m only 70% good enough to go”, to which his partner and friend, Rémi ‘Red Light’ Tohmé, stated, ala Daniel Alfredsson, “Your 70% is better than most people’s 100!”

But Rémi couldn’t come up with an offer the Godfather could refuse, so, putting his foot down to emphasize his point…obviously the only point he was going to score in this match, the ‘Godfather’ resorted to coaching.

None of this was lost on the Black team, as they looked like a bunch of kids getting ready to unwrap their Christmas presents, and it seemed especially joyous to Scotty ‘Trash Talk’ Cameron, who was seen before the game with his jeweller, getting his finger sized for another ring.

When this aged reporter approached him and stated, “That’s a little premature, don’t you think?”, ‘Trash Talk’ replied, “Who cares about maturity? (Insert ‘What the Hell’ look on reporter’s face)

“Seriously, look at them over there. They’re already beat and we haven’t even started playing, yet” laughed ‘Trash Talk’.

As he turned back to his jeweller, he was overheard saying, “This will be Number 4 for me. Sort of apropos seeing as how I play defence as good or better as that other guy who wore that number back when that old, washed-up reporter was a kid, hahaha. What was that D-man’s name again? ScOrr? MOrr? No, Orr, that’s it!

Make sure it says, ‘Champ, Again’, will ya. And have it ready before the first half is over, I’ll throw it on, then.”

Good ole ‘Trash Talk’ Cameron!

But back to the game, itself.

With a full squad, minus Andrew ‘Sciatica’ Cottrell, Black came out hungry and strong.

They pushed the play hard and had possession for the majority of the time, wearing the Red squad down. It was inevitable that Black would score, as Kyle ‘Sweet Shot’ Johnson blasted one from the blue line that beat a surprised Paul ‘Backstop’ Taillefer.

‘Backstop’ had been, and would continue to play, lights-out, as he stood on his proverbial melon to help keep his crew in the game.

Unfortunately for him, and his tired-out teammates, they couldn’t keep pace.

In an odd twist of Karma not doing her job, ‘Trash Talk’ Cameron ripped a shot and beat ‘Backstop’ for Black’s second goal. Not only can he trash talk, but he gets rewarded for it, too!

We weren’t sure if Scotty’s huge smile was from scoring, or part of his reaction to pointing to his finger and holding up four of them, as he walked back to centre-ice?

The half ended with Black up 2-0, and a depleted and exhausted Red team seeking help to get off the floor.

The second half was much like the first, except that Red managed to score a couple, if ‘goals-that-shouldn’t have counted’, count as goals?

After Black took a 3-0 lead, Red’s Rémi ‘Red Light’ Tohmé scored a beauty breakaway goal that had some controversy to it.

Before ‘Red Light’ picked up the ball, his teammate, ‘Good Penalty’ Sergio Nuzzi, batted at it like he was being swarmed by a nest of hornets, (sort of symbolic as to how Black was playing against them), and knocked the ball half-way up the floor.

‘Red Light’ picked it up at centre, clearly a hand-pass, and proceeded to walk in and snap his beaut into the top shelf.

Whether it was from pity, or an uncertainty as to what constitutes a hand-pass, the ref allowed the play, and goal, to stand.

Unfortunately for Red, that was almost as good as it was going to get, as Black buried a couple more past a now-exhausted Paul Taillefer. Kudos go out to Terry ‘Dash’ Dagenais for his 4 assists and excellent, all-around game for the Black squad.

Red did manage to ‘score’ one more, although everyone except the poor referee saw and knows that the shot hit the goal post and did not go in.

But again, other than Red’s goalie Peter ‘Play-a-lot’ Marinas, no one was going to argue. (Well, except maybe ‘Trash Talk’, who threw his hands up in the air in a questioning, “what?” gesture…or was he just admiring that ring, who knows?)

It’s always unfortunate when the two Finalists can’t play with their full line-ups, but it can’t be taken away from the Black squad that they went out and played and competed hard to gain their Championship. They recognized the advantages they had, and they used them as they should have.

Congratulations to Black for a solid season and a well-deserved Championship title.

Take care, everyone, and we hope to see you back with us next go-around.

Notables: Player of the Game – Red’s goalie Paul ‘Backstop’ Taillefer; Black’s Terry ‘Dash’ Dagenais 4a